So this is another long one, but when I have something in my head, I have to get it out there. I know I don’t have many followers, and that there are only a few who check it routinely, but the other day someone said something that really bothered me. It was about “hiding” something from their husbands, it was something minor, but my first thought was “I would never do that Bryan.” My second thought was, “Wow, I can’t believe that was my first thought!” I smiled because I knew in that moment, that I was really on my way to becoming a better wife. I have been married for almost 11 years, and while there is always room to grow, the last ½ of our marriage has definitely been better than the first ½. Bryan and I have an understanding of each other, and I had always thought that would be enough. Now as we grow older, and are faced with more challenges from society, it has definitely made me seek God, and what exactly he wants FROM me FOR Bryan.
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the phrase “there isn’t a manual for this,” and it is used when we don’t know how to do something. Whether it’s in our marriage, with our children, or with family and friends, I’m here to tell you every aspect of your life comes with a “manual.” It’s called a BIBLE.
In this “manual” we are told how to be a wife/husband, mom/dad, son/daughter and friend. In the world today, we have this idea of marriage, we fall in love, get married, and have kids. Most of us think that “love” for each other will keep our marriages together. This is not entirely true. Of course, love, (not lust), is part of marriage, but the kind of love that God’s word is talking about. Many of you have heard 1 Corinthians 13:4, but may not know where that “saying” comes from. Love is Patient, Love is kind…I encourage you to read the whole chapter.
So I know a few people going through divorce, right now, and I thought I’d put this out there, just in case anyone may need it. Hey, maybe I can help save someone’s marriage. Bryan and I are in NO WAY the perfect couple, but here are a few things God tells me to do, and I’m trying to continue or get better at them, to keep our marriage strong:
SUBMISSION – This is by far the hardest one for me. You all know how much of an independent person I am, and it has taken me a long time to understand this, but I’m getting there.
HELP HIM OUT – The bible says that the reason that woman was created was to help man. Keep this in mind and try to make your man feel strong. Tell him how much you love him, and let him know that you need him.
RESPECT HIM – This doesn’t mean be fearful (1John 4:18). This means, that you should never put him down, always build him up. Don’t lie, keep secrets, or talk bad about him, especially in front of others. Listen when he speaks. We still have fun together, and we can joke around and have a great time.
COMPANIONSHIP – Bryan is my best friend. We still go on “dates” and that’s important to me. I tell him everything, and he’s the one that makes my day better when it’s bad, makes me laugh when I need to, understands me, comforts me, endures me, loves me.
COMMUNICATION – Tell him what’s wrong; be open, honest, and nice. Don’t yell, and understand that he may not know what you’re talking about sometimes. Don’t be prideful, and ask for help when you need it. I also struggle with this one...a lot. :)
TRUST – Trust with all your heart. Set some clear boundaries, and what makes you feel uncomfortable. Respect each other’s wishes, and don’t knowingly do something that will hurt your spouse.
TEAMWORK – Two become one in marriage, and in a proper role you are an unbeatable team. Stay united all the time, especially in front of your children. For most moms, it’s hard to put your spouse before your children, right? Well the Bible says to, and if you think about it, it makes some sense. If you put your children first, then once the children leave home, a lot of marriages will fall apart because it was based on the children, not each other. This is something that is hard to make children understand. Carter was no exception.
LOVE – Build a strong foundation. Find out HOW your spouse NEEDS to be loved. For help on this, I highly recommend The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. It is a great start to figuring out HOW your spouse receives love.
FULFILLMENT – No one wants to hear much about this, so I’ll keep it simple. Do “it”. (see 1 Corinthians 7 for exact instructions)
DO NOT SEPARATE/DIVORCE – Most marriages don’t work because couples feel like divorce is an option. The bible is very clear about this: Adultery and when 1 person in the marriage (husband or wife) is a non-believer, and that non-believer wants out of the marriage, the believer, must let him/her go.
DEVOTION – This is important, not only to be devoted to one another, but to Jesus Christ as well. A marriage (and family) that seeks to have a relationship with Jesus, will grow together as they grow in Him.
You may read this and think, there is no way I can do this, and to that I say you are RIGHT. You can’t…on your own. You must surrender yourself to God, and ask for him to help you. I still struggle with a lot of these, but God knows what is in my heart and that I’m trying to be a good wife. I understand that my role in the home is under my husband’s authority, and that his is under God. If you put Christ at the center of your marriage, it won't fail.
After reading/trying/doing all of this, I leave you with one question to ask yourself:
Wives: Do you love you husband enough to live for Him?
Husbands: Do you love your wife enough to die for her?
If you answer is not a resounding YES! Then you just have to consult your “manual” for the occasional repairs/maintenance.
No comments:
Post a Comment